This article appears in The Huffington Post, where I am a contributor: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-is-losing-but-were-not-winningyet_us_59ca9a9ae4b0e02ffdb77f37
This article appears in The Huffington Post, where I am a contributor: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-the-racist-president-made-in-america_us_59960b5de4b033e0fbdec27a
In July of the year 2000, then President George W. Bush spoke about his vision for education at the NAACP’s 91st annual convention. He made headlines from the speech in main part by his use of the term “soft bigotry of low expectations”:
“Discrimination is still a reality, even when it takes different forms. Instead of Jim Crow, there’s racial redlining and profiling. Instead of separate but equal, there is separate and forgotten…I will confront another form of bias: the soft bigotry of low expectations…we have come so far in opening the doors of our schools. But today we have a challenge of our own…There’s a tremendous gap of achievement between rich and poor, white and minority. This, too, leaves a divided society. And whatever the causes, the effect is discrimination.”
Truer have never been spoken as it relates to challenges we face in education in America, even 17 years later. As I watched the political rise of President Donald Trump and the low bar set for him, however, I find myself finding the “soft bigotry of low expectations” being more and more applicable to him. I have never seen a United States president have such a low bar set for him. The only reason I can find is that he is a rich, famous, white male, and like many others who occupy this group such as Brock Turner, Mel Gibson, Roman Polanski, Ethan Couch, and Ryan Lochte, the ultimate consequences towards these individuals vary, but the initial assumptions about their actions are usually excused or downright defended in ways other people simply are not.
U.S. Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte lied about being robbed in Brazil when he and his entourage were the guilty party for vandalizing a gas station. Ultimately he suffered some consequences but initially when his lie was unearthed, some called what he did a “youthful error” though he was thirty years old at the time. Mel Gibson, among other things, told his wife that he hopes she gets raped by a “pack of niggers” and sat front row at the Oscars in 2017. Roman Polanski admits to raping a child yet still in this decade receives standing ovations for his movies at the Oscars while some of our favorite stars appeal for his exoneration. Collegiate star swimmer Brock Turner received 6 months in a county jail for rape, or what his father called, “20 minutes of action” and was released after 3 months. Lastly, Ethan Couch committed vehicular homicide and got off because he suffered from “affluenza meaning he was too rich and spoiled to be held responsible for his actions. What these men have in common is that they are rich, popular white males and therefore they are given a benefit of the doubt, which so many other groups are denied, as Sady Doyle wrote in her brilliant article: “What we lose when we give awards to men like Casey Affleck.” Enter Donald Trump.
Throughout the campaign and well into his presidency, Trump has demonstrated a level of incompetence that we have never witnessed. All one has to do is compare the analysis of his campaign to that of Hillary Clinton. Despite Clinton’s many flaws and flawed campaign, the fact of the matter is that she, like President Obama, have had to be twice as good in their campaigns to receive just half the accolades showered upon Trump. Hillary Clinton by many accounts won all of the presidential debates, knew her facts when discussing the issues, and made her campaign about policy, demonstrated by her ability to speak knowledgeably on the issues. Trump focused much of his campaign on bombast, rhetoric, hate, hyperbole and outright lies and was praised by many because he “tells it like it is.” What does “tell it like it is” mean when what you “tell” is a lie?
From stating that President Obama wiretapped him, that he saw Muslims in New Jersey celebrating 911, that millions of people voted illegally for Clinton, and countless other fabrications, Trump has repeatedly lied and when he gets called out on his lies, he is excused because he is a “businessman” and not an actual politician. It’s so weird because, for everyone else, once you decide to run for political office, you’re a politician. It’s sort of like 1+1=2 for most of but for many Trump apologists, 1+1 can actually = 1.5 if he says so. Furthermore, Obama spent his entire two terms working imperfectly to unify America through his policies and social commentary in the face of massacres like Sandy Hook, while Trump gets called “presidential” for being able to read calmly from a teleprompter for an hour. This is the presidential equivalent of Chris Rock stating that fathers shouldn’t expect to receive praise for actually raising their own children.
At the end of the day, too many of us in America are quick to excuse the actions, ignorance, and downright crimes of white men of status, while we are quick to turn boys into men when they are murdered at the hands of law enforcement and others as we did with Tamir Rice, Trayvon Martin, and Michael Brown, who had just reached the age of adulthood at 18. Comparatively, Ethan Couch was a juvenile when he actually killed four people and went home to sleep in his own bed simply because he was rich. President Donald Trump, a man well into his 70s, continues to get a pass and even be praised for his downright ignorance of basic common knowledge. He can say it’s OK to sexually assault a woman and call it locker room banter and it’s OK. He can admit to being a racist and an anti-Semite and it can be excused because he said he is the “least” of these. The list is exhaustive and will continue to grow until some of us in America make the conscious decision to no longer give rich white men a pass because the bar we set for them is set so low. This soft bigotry is indeed a new type of discrimination and is having hard consequences for the entire country.
I didn’t live at the time of martin & Malcolm
Read about their struggles kept wonderin how come
How could one deny another’s human rights?
How could you lynch a brother right at first sight?
I’m like damn, is this what we call human-ity?
Surprised more didn’t die from insanity
But now in 2017 I see history rhymin’
Everywhere I look I see my civil rights dyin
Tryin to keep a positive outlook
But then I turn on the news see Sandy hook
Go and talk to a school and they got no books
Tried to see my man Malik but his visa’s took
Hate crimes on the rise, I close my eyes
In my minds the only place they care for black lives
Cause alllivesdontmatter when our blood gets splattered
Whether we got phds or homeless clothes tattered
They buck is in the head spillin out our views
Then they broadcast it on the nightly news
Remindin you and me they don’t care about us
Declining youth jobs, jails disappearin us
Mr. President I heard you wanna drain the swamp
But it’s the little fish every day getting’ stomped
You and your boy bannon got eyes like they cannons
Shootin down our dreams but you’re not understandin
I used to believe in the public schools
Despite its flaws knew it could be something new
But under Betsy let’s see I think what’ll be
Is the death of the system for you and me
They wanna privatize schools privatize our lives
Prolly privatize air we breathe before our eyes
While they keep lyin’ with #alternativefacts
Trump sotckin up his staff with alternative blacks
Oil pipelines they wanna shove down our throats
While his cabinet gets richer man we better stay woke
Cause why we sleepin they creepin into all we do
Kickin’ out immigrants even legal ones too
But if it’s gonna change its up to me and you
To get up and resist whether muslim or jew
Republican, democrat, black or white,
Hetero to homosexuals let’s do what’s right
We must never give up we must always fight
In the courts on the streets and hell yes on the mic
Time’s always right to do right so said mlk
So we gonna keep marchin cross the USA
Gonna keep fightin for that equal pay
Gonna uplift our own hombre it’s a new day
Don’t think for a second that we gonna give up
Cause on shoulders of the ancestors where stand up
I am a proud Bostonian who will never forget the first time The New England Patriots won The Super Bowl in 2002. I remember the intense debates over whether then second string quarterback Tom Brady, who took over for the injured Drew Bledsoe, should start in the Super Bowl after Bledsoe returned from injury. #teambledsoe lost but I remember thinking “At least he got a ring out of the deal!” I remember my older brother Pata dropping to his knees yelling out “The Patriots won the SUPERBOWL!!!!!” in complete disbelief. I remember seeing one of The Patriots making snow angels on the field. I remember driving with my younger brother Simba in my first car, a forest green Mazda Protégé, all the way up Massachusetts Avenue and around Fenway Park as he hung out the sunroof high fiving everyone in sight. Being in Boston for that win was one of the best memories of the first quarter of my life.
Over the years, The Patriots would continue to assert their dominance at the same time the Red Sox, Celtics, and Bruins were starting to flex their muscle. As sports fans, we were on top of the world and the Pats ushered in the greatness of the new millennium. There was a bit less excitement after subsequent championships because I moved from Boston in 2003 and never fully engaged in many sports activities because I could just never recreate that buzz from the first win, though I always rooted for The Patriots. This year that all changed. Though I couldn’t bring myself to root against The Patriots, I just couldn’t root for them.
There were many reasons for me to not support The Patriots this year. I never cared about Deflategate because I just felt it was really impossible to prove so I don’t know if Tom Brady’s suspension was justified but between that and Spygate, I was a bit disappointed with the overall shadiness that was emanating from my beloved team. I was annoyed that Tom Brady decided to not attend the White House Super Bowl ceremony when President Obama was in office but I still couldn’t root against The Pats. Lastly, I did not lose support for The Patriots when I learned that Patriots owner Bob Kraft, Coach Bill Belichick, and Tom Brady were all supporters of an admitted racist in Donald Trump and that Bob Kraft is friends with Russian dictator Vladmir Putin, who holds one of Kraft’s championship rings. I still put my love of my home team before these other issues. But there is one issue that led me to lose my complete loyalty to The Patriots—Tom Brady’s inability to speak out on issues of violence against women.
Over the past three years, Tom Brady has had at least four opportunities to speak up on issue of violence against women and he demonstrated a level of cowardice that we would never see from him on the football field. First there was the 2014 Ray Rice incident, where then Baltimore Raven brutally assaulted his then fiancée (now wife) Janay Palmer. When asked about it, he said that commenting about this was above his paygrade. Then there is continued association with boxing champion Floyd “Money” Mayweather, whose history of domestic violence is legendary, yet Tom Brady still chose to attend the fight as Mayweather’s guest. He also replied “no comment” when asked about then Cowboys defensive end Greg Hardy and his history of domestic violence. Lastly, there was Tom Brady’s decision to leave a press conference when asked about then candidate Trump’s “Grab ‘em in the pussy” remarks, which Trump referred to as “locker room banter.” The fact that one of the most recognized athletes in America who has a wife as well as sons and a daughter could be silent on these issues is just unacceptable.
I respect an entertainer’s decision to remain apolitical but when you are pressed with questions regarding something as serious as domestic violence and sexual assault, you have to speak up. Lebron James, who has more global recognition than Brady, had no problems condemning Trump’s comments about women and I am certain that he would have expressed the same sentiment if President Obama made those comments. I keep find myself thinking that somewhere there is a man beating his wife up wearing a Tom Brady jersey, and though Brady wouldn’t be able to blame for it, he probably wouldn’t say anything about it. He has completely lost sight of his influence on others, highlighted by the comment made by one of my American University students who said that Tom Brady is so talented that he doesn’t have to speak up on issues of violence against women. This is the message that Tom Brady has communicated to his millions of followers directly and indirectly.
While it’s true that my distance from Boston has complicated my ability to fully support my teams like I used to, many more things have happened since that 2002 Super Bowl victory. I am married now and have 2 daughters and a son. Every single day my wife and I do our best to make sure they are learning about respect for themselves and respect for how the opposite sex should be treated. It’d be great to at the very least find a PSA from Brady stating that domestic violence is wrong, even if he doesn’t condemn his friends acts (though he should) but it seems that it would be an effort in futility. My kids range between the ages of 10 & 2 so they are not yet at the age where they will start looking for entertainer role models outside of the home whose values they will seek to emulate. They are more interested in people like Kathryn Johnson of Nasa fame and Rosa Parks for now, but as they get more interested in sports and entertainers, Tom Brady will not be on my list of potential role models beyond his commitment to his craft. I just need more from the modern day athlete.
At the end of the day, we can support our political candidates and have our liberal to conservative views on issues and we can support our friends on their endeavors, but we all must condemn violence against each other and condemn comments and actions that either endorse it or don’t condemn it. My hope is that Tom Brady will one day realize that taking a stance on violence against women would elevate him to a level of greatness that 5 more Super Bowl rings could never do. We don’t remember Muhammad Ali for his titles but because he was an upstander, not a bystander. While no modern-day athlete could ever fill his shoes because the challenges are not as severe as during his heyday, it shouldn’t be too much to expect all athletes, but especially the great ones, to speak up against violence against women, especially when he is part of a league with a deplorable track record on domestic violence. Until that happens, I just cannot support Tom Brady and The Patriots like I used to, though I still want to.
Senator Hillary Clinton had her issues. There is no question that over her decades of service to the United States and the globe, there were some downright shady practices that could have easily propelled a more polished republican political candidate into the White House but this article is not about Hillary. This article is about the values of fatherhood or lack thereof that I have witnessed from Donald Trump. Regardless of his actual policies, there are just certain values that every father I know stresses and I see none of them being exuded by Mr. Trump and therefore I could have never voted for him. The following are the top 7 values that every father hopes their children exude that Donald Trump simply does not, pre and post election.
1. Be Honest
As a father of 2 girls and a boy ranging in age from 2-10, my wife and I are engaged in constant conversations with them about the importance of telling the truth and having integrity. There is an African proverb that says when you tell the truth you don’t need a good memory. Throughout his 70-year history, Donald Trump has proven to be an individual who will say whatever it takes to anyone to get what he wants and denies what he says when confronted, even if video or audio recording proves his prior comments. During this election, he has flip-flopped on so many issues that I could never know whether he is telling the truth. We teach our kids that if people cannot believe you, they cannot trust you so always tell the truth regardless of the consequences.
2. Don’t call other people names
Every father I know teaches their children to have respect for others. We tell them to not call people out of their names. Donald Trump is quick to refer to anyone with whom he disagrees as ugly, disgusting, fat pig, Ms. Piggy, Ms. Housekeeping, horrible liar, and much worse. We teach our children that everyone was given a name and that name should always be honored. As a child who was often called names like “African bush boogie” and “African booty scratcher” and worse, I grew up knowing exactly how it feels to be minimalized by being called out of my name. I would never let my children call people out of their names and have it go unchecked and I would also remind them of how low they felt when someone else called them out of their names, which has already happened far too often for their young ages.
3: Don’t make fun of people
There have been many actions throughout Trump’s campaign that I have deemed to be extremely ignorant and disrespectful. At the top of the list is his mocking of a reporter with a disability. We teach our children that you do not make fun of people who may appear to be disadvantaged physically, economically, etc. we ask them how they would feel if someone who appeared to be in a better position or status than them mocked them in some way, shape, or form. Kendra & I teach them that if they don’t have anything good to say about someone, do not say anything at all. We teach them to help build up others, not tear them down. We teach them to be upstanders when they see others being picked on and not bystanders like we have seen by so many Trump supporters at his rallies.
4. Put up or shut up
Donald Trump claims that he is a successful billionaire and vows to be a very patriotic individual who will make America great again but he has refused to provide his tax returns to the public to prove that he is indeed a billionaire or for that matter, a patriot. We do not know what foreign entities he owes money to. Furthermore, Trump has a history of engaging in practices that have not put America first from the hiring of illegal immigrants (which he has been fined for) to cozying up with a Russian dictator in Vladimir Putin whose values are diametrically opposed to those of the United States. We teach our kids to not talk about it but to be about it. We teach them that actions speak louder than words so they should not go out bragging about things that are not true or that they cannot prove.
5. Don’t blame others for your shortcomings
We teach our children that no one cares about their excuses, only their results. We tell them to not blame other people for the things they do not accomplish in life. We teach them that regardless of the resources they may not have, they can achieve anything they want if they work hard enough. If they are not successful, we teach them to take responsibility for their failings. Donald Trump blames everyone else for his shortcomings. Any time he seemed like he was in danger of losing a primary state election, he went into a tirade about how the system is rigged and blamed in advance the entire American political system for any possible electoral failures if he lost. We teach our children that part of being a leader is taking responsibility for your actions and remembering that as cliché as it sounds, when you point your finger at others, there are three fingers pointing back at you.
6. Believe people when they show you who they are
We teach our children that a leopard never changes its spots (although my daughter’s response was “Sure it can. It just finds a new spot” as in a place to live). Dr. Maya Angelou said that when people show you who they are believe them. Kendra and I think this is important as they get older and possibly start dating or just in general with their friends and colleagues. We teach them for example, that if someone can hit you they can kill you. We teach them that if people call you negative names, they don’t love you. Donald Trump has shown that he is a racially ignorant, sexist, philandering, islamophobic wanna-be-demagogue who speaks in pedophiliac terms about his own daughter. He cannot be believed when he says he will respect the blue-collar worker because he never has. His continual belief that the Central Park 5 are guilty shows he cannot stomach the idea of being wrong and his history of misogyny proves that we will never demonstrate a healthy respect for women. This is who he has proven himself to be in 70 years. He will never change his spots, even if he does indeed find a new spot.
7. Facts matter
I know we live in an anti-intellectual climate where the average American reads one book a year after completing school and we look at professional wrestling and reality shows as real but the professor in me still believes that facts will one day matter again, maybe after this election. Donald Trump is quick to say “A lot of people I talk to are saying…” or “A lot of people saw Muslims in America celebrating 911” or “A lot of people are asking for Obama’s birth certificate”, etc. without pointing to any facts. We teach our children that they need to back up their accusations with facts. With my American University students, I tell them that they can’t just make generalized statements and expect to pass my course or anyone’s course for that matter. As Joe Madison says, facts to many people today are like kryptonite to Superman. We teach our children to arm themselves with facts and most people will run away from them when they shoot out any word of truth.
At the end of the day, Donald Trump is 70-year old boy and he is proud of it, given his acknowledgment that he is the same person he was since he was 8 years old. I personally found that disrespectful to the thousands of compassionate, honest, and service-oriented 8 year olds I have met around the world but that is a story for another day. He proudly touted his comments of assaulting women as locker room banter though no father I know speaks like that. His wife Melania says raising him is like having two teenage sons and many of us found it amusing. There is nothing funny to me about a man who violates the basic tenets of fatherhood in his quest to become Kin…President of the United States. We know that all of our kids our watching. We need to ensure that they do not pick up on his foolishness and try to emulate it for it will be a recipe for disaster in their personal and professional lives.