Why this Bostonian didn’t root for The Patriots in the Super Bowl

I am a proud Bostonian who will never forget the first time The New England Patriots won The Super Bowl in 2002. I remember the intense debates over whether then second string quarterback Tom Brady, who took over for the injured Drew Bledsoe, should start in the Super Bowl after Bledsoe returned from injury. #teambledsoe lost but I remember thinking “At least he got a ring out of the deal!” I remember my older brother Pata dropping to his knees yelling out “The Patriots won the SUPERBOWL!!!!!” in complete disbelief. I remember seeing one of The Patriots making snow angels on the field. I remember driving with my younger brother Simba in my first car, a forest green Mazda Protégé, all the way up Massachusetts Avenue and around Fenway Park as he hung out the sunroof high fiving everyone in sight. Being in Boston for that win was one of the best memories of the first quarter of my life.

Over the years, The Patriots would continue to assert their dominance at the same time the Red Sox, Celtics, and Bruins were starting to flex their muscle. As sports fans, we were on top of the world and the Pats ushered in the greatness of the new millennium. There was a bit less excitement after subsequent championships because I moved from Boston in 2003 and never fully engaged in many sports activities because I could just never recreate that buzz from the first win, though I always rooted for The Patriots. This year that all changed. Though I couldn’t bring myself to root against The Patriots, I just couldn’t root for them.

There were many reasons for me to not support The Patriots this year. I never cared about Deflategate because I just felt it was really impossible to prove so I don’t know if Tom Brady’s suspension was justified but between that and Spygate, I was a bit disappointed with the overall shadiness that was emanating from my beloved team. I was annoyed that Tom Brady decided to not attend the White House Super Bowl ceremony when President Obama was in office but I still couldn’t root against The Pats. Lastly, I did not lose support for The Patriots when I learned that Patriots owner Bob Kraft, Coach Bill Belichick, and Tom Brady were all supporters of an admitted racist in Donald Trump and that Bob Kraft is friends with Russian dictator Vladmir Putin, who holds one of Kraft’s championship rings. I still put my love of my home team before these other issues. But there is one issue that led me to lose my complete loyalty to The Patriots—Tom Brady’s inability to speak out on issues of violence against women.

Over the past three years, Tom Brady has had at least four opportunities to speak up on issue of violence against women and he demonstrated a level of cowardice that we would never see from him on the football field. First there was the 2014 Ray Rice incident, where then Baltimore Raven brutally assaulted his then fiancée (now wife) Janay Palmer. When asked about it, he said that commenting about this was above his paygrade. Then there is continued association with boxing champion Floyd “Money” Mayweather, whose history of domestic violence is legendary, yet Tom Brady still chose to attend the fight as Mayweather’s guest. He also replied “no comment” when asked about then Cowboys defensive end Greg Hardy and his history of domestic violence. Lastly, there was Tom Brady’s decision to leave a press conference when asked about then candidate Trump’s “Grab ‘em in the pussy” remarks, which Trump referred to as “locker room banter.” The fact that one of the most recognized athletes in America who has a wife as well as sons and a daughter could be silent on these issues is just unacceptable.

I respect an entertainer’s decision to remain apolitical but when you are pressed with questions regarding something as serious as domestic violence and sexual assault, you have to speak up. Lebron James, who has more global recognition than Brady, had no problems condemning Trump’s comments about women and I am certain that he would have expressed the same sentiment if President Obama made those comments. I keep find myself thinking that somewhere there is a man beating his wife up wearing a Tom Brady jersey, and though Brady wouldn’t be able to blame for it, he probably wouldn’t say anything about it. He has completely lost sight of his influence on others, highlighted by the comment made by one of my American University students who said that Tom Brady is so talented that he doesn’t have to speak up on issues of violence against women. This is the message that Tom Brady has communicated to his millions of followers directly and indirectly.

While it’s true that my distance from Boston has complicated my ability to fully support my teams like I used to, many more things have happened since that 2002 Super Bowl victory. I am married now and have 2 daughters and a son. Every single day my wife and I do our best to make sure they are learning about respect for themselves and respect for how the opposite sex should be treated. It’d be great to at the very least find a PSA from Brady stating that domestic violence is wrong, even if he doesn’t condemn his friends acts (though he should) but it seems that it would be an effort in futility. My kids range between the ages of 10 & 2 so they are not yet at the age where they will start looking for entertainer role models outside of the home whose values they will seek to emulate. They are more interested in people like Kathryn Johnson of Nasa fame and Rosa Parks for now, but as they get more interested in sports and entertainers, Tom Brady will not be on my list of potential role models beyond his commitment to his craft. I just need more from the modern day athlete.

At the end of the day, we can support our political candidates and have our liberal to conservative views on issues and we can support our friends on their endeavors, but we all must condemn violence against each other and condemn comments and actions that either endorse it or don’t condemn it. My hope is that Tom Brady will one day realize that taking a stance on violence against women would elevate him to a level of greatness that 5 more Super Bowl rings could never do. We don’t remember Muhammad Ali for his titles but because he was an upstander, not a bystander. While no modern-day athlete could ever fill his shoes because the challenges are not as severe as during his heyday, it shouldn’t be too much to expect all athletes, but especially the great ones, to speak up against violence against women, especially when he is part of a league with a deplorable track record on domestic violence. Until that happens, I just cannot support Tom Brady and The Patriots like I used to, though I still want to.

7 reasons this father did not vote for Donald Trump

Senator Hillary Clinton had her issues. There is no question that over her decades of service to the United States and the globe, there were some downright shady practices that could have easily propelled a more polished republican political candidate into the White House but this article is not about Hillary. This article is about the values of fatherhood or lack thereof that I have witnessed from Donald Trump. Regardless of his actual policies, there are just certain values that every father I know stresses and I see none of them being exuded by Mr. Trump and therefore I could have never voted for him. The following are the top 7 values that every father hopes their children exude that Donald Trump simply does not, pre and post election.

1. Be Honest

As a father of 2 girls and a boy ranging in age from 2-10, my wife and I are engaged in constant conversations with them about the importance of telling the truth and having integrity. There is an African proverb that says when you tell the truth you don’t need a good memory. Throughout his 70-year history, Donald Trump has proven to be an individual who will say whatever it takes to anyone to get what he wants and denies what he says when confronted, even if video or audio recording proves his prior comments. During this election, he has flip-flopped on so many issues that I could never know whether he is telling the truth. We teach our kids that if people cannot believe you, they cannot trust you so always tell the truth regardless of the consequences.

2. Don’t call other people names

Every father I know teaches their children to have respect for others. We tell them to not call people out of their names. Donald Trump is quick to refer to anyone with whom he disagrees as ugly, disgusting, fat pig, Ms. Piggy, Ms. Housekeeping, horrible liar, and much worse. We teach our children that everyone was given a name and that name should always be honored. As a child who was often called names like “African bush boogie” and “African booty scratcher” and worse, I grew up knowing exactly how it feels to be minimalized by being called out of my name. I would never let my children call people out of their names and have it go unchecked and I would also remind them of how low they felt when someone else called them out of their names, which has already happened far too often for their young ages.

3: Don’t make fun of people

There have been many actions throughout Trump’s campaign that I have deemed to be extremely ignorant and disrespectful. At the top of the list is his mocking of a reporter with a disability. We teach our children that you do not make fun of people who may appear to be disadvantaged physically, economically, etc. we ask them how they would feel if someone who appeared to be in a better position or status than them mocked them in some way, shape, or form. Kendra & I teach them that if they don’t have anything good to say about someone, do not say anything at all. We teach them to help build up others, not tear them down. We teach them to be upstanders when they see others being picked on and not bystanders like we have seen by so many Trump supporters at his rallies.

4. Put up or shut up

Donald Trump claims that he is a successful billionaire and vows to be a very patriotic individual who will make America great again but he has refused to provide his tax returns to the public to prove that he is indeed a billionaire or for that matter, a patriot. We do not know what foreign entities he owes money to. Furthermore, Trump has a history of engaging in practices that have not put America first from the hiring of illegal immigrants (which he has been fined for) to cozying up with a Russian dictator in Vladimir Putin whose values are diametrically opposed to those of the United States. We teach our kids to not talk about it but to be about it. We teach them that actions speak louder than words so they should not go out bragging about things that are not true or that they cannot prove.

5. Don’t blame others for your shortcomings

We teach our children that no one cares about their excuses, only their results. We tell them to not blame other people for the things they do not accomplish in life. We teach them that regardless of the resources they may not have, they can achieve anything they want if they work hard enough. If they are not successful, we teach them to take responsibility for their failings. Donald Trump blames everyone else for his shortcomings. Any time he seemed like he was in danger of losing a primary state election, he went into a tirade about how the system is rigged and blamed in advance the entire American political system for any possible electoral failures if he lost. We teach our children that part of being a leader is taking responsibility for your actions and remembering that as cliché as it sounds, when you point your finger at others, there are three fingers pointing back at you.

6. Believe people when they show you who they are

We teach our children that a leopard never changes its spots (although my daughter’s response was “Sure it can. It just finds a new spot” as in a place to live). Dr. Maya Angelou said that when people show you who they are believe them. Kendra and I think this is important as they get older and possibly start dating or just in general with their friends and colleagues. We teach them for example, that if someone can hit you they can kill you. We teach them that if people call you negative names, they don’t love you. Donald Trump has shown that he is a racially ignorant, sexist, philandering, islamophobic wanna-be-demagogue who speaks in pedophiliac terms about his own daughter. He cannot be believed when he says he will respect the blue-collar worker because he never has. His continual belief that the Central Park 5 are guilty shows he cannot stomach the idea of being wrong and his history of misogyny proves that we will never demonstrate a healthy respect for women. This is who he has proven himself to be in 70 years. He will never change his spots, even if he does indeed find a new spot.

7. Facts matter

I know we live in an anti-intellectual climate where the average American reads one book a year after completing school and we look at professional wrestling and reality shows as real but the professor in me still believes that facts will one day matter again, maybe after this election. Donald Trump is quick to say “A lot of people I talk to are saying…” or “A lot of people saw Muslims in America celebrating 911” or “A lot of people are asking for Obama’s birth certificate”, etc. without pointing to any facts. We teach our children that they need to back up their accusations with facts. With my American University students, I tell them that they can’t just make generalized statements and expect to pass my course or anyone’s course for that matter. As Joe Madison says, facts to many people today are like kryptonite to Superman. We teach our children to arm themselves with facts and most people will run away from them when they shoot out any word of truth.

At the end of the day, Donald Trump is 70-year old boy and he is proud of it, given his acknowledgment that he is the same person he was since he was 8 years old. I personally found that disrespectful to the thousands of compassionate, honest, and service-oriented 8 year olds I have met around the world but that is a story for another day. He proudly touted his comments of assaulting women as locker room banter though no father I know speaks like that. His wife Melania says raising him is like having two teenage sons and many of us found it amusing. There is nothing funny to me about a man who violates the basic tenets of fatherhood in his quest to become Kin…President of the United States. We know that all of our kids our watching. We need to ensure that they do not pick up on his foolishness and try to emulate it for it will be a recipe for disaster in their personal and professional lives.

We Shall Not Be Moved! (a poem)

We ain’t goin’ back, said we ain’t goin’ back
We’ve come too far they tryin’ to set us back
Whether standin’ on the block or on Standing Rock
The world gonna know that we never gonna stop
Built their brand on phobias they think that they controllin’ us
Not to mention women hatin’ and the need for patrollin’ us
But we not gon’ allow misogyny to malign our progeny
The spirit of MLK be callin’ we
Whether you black, white, or burgundy
Urban or suburban we
Gotta come together with a better sense of urgency
To this emergency we gotta emerge-and-see
No time to be sleepin’ while they legislate our destiny
I write this in the spirit of a Birmingham jaila
Scrambling for a cure of what Roger Ailes us
From the Voting Rights Act they’re floating right back
Tryin’ to take us back to Defense of Marriage Acts
To McCarthy-style living and internment camps
To segregated schools maybe fountains too
But we gonna clamp down in the face of fascism
Hit ctrl+ALT-right+delete erase racism
Bannin’ Bannon-like thoughts from pollutin’ our nation
But we need YOU to join the fight without hesitation
Now ain’t the time to be silent pick UP the mic
Speak truth to power using all your might
We been through much worse but if we stick together
We’ll shake up the world again for the better!
 

Schools need same “Zero Tolerance” for hate acts that they have for students of color

              Across the country, Trump supporters have been targeting people who look foreign, threatening their lives and attempting to bar them from entering schools and their jobs. Trump’s half-hearted request for his supporters to “stop it” while at the same time blaming the press for overblowing these racist and islamophobic incidents does little to help solve the problem. It is also true that there have been incidents of Trump supporters being attacked. Everyone who is found to be guilty of any crimes need to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, but what about our nation’s students who are harassing other students? What should happen to them?

              From schools like Westland Middle School in Maryland to the Royal Oaks Middle School in Michigan, racist, islamaphobic graffiti has been painted on walls, students have barred Latino students from getting to their lockers and other students have chanted “Build a wall” in their cafeterias. Statements from school leadership basically state that investigations will occur and are fairly vague beyond that. If schools do not implement the same “zero tolerance” and “tough love” policies that they use to discipline students of color, the hypocrisy will speak volumes.

              It has been well documented that across the country, students of color are suspended, expelled, or disciplined in other ways often at 3-4 times the rate of their white counterparts and are disciplined more harshly for the same offenses, even in preschool. Everything from “talking back” to dress code violations have led students of color missing excessive time from school or being excluded from school altogether. Furthermore, Special Education has been seen in many schools than nothing more than a system that prepares students to do a bid in prison because they spend most of their days isolated from the general school population participating in non-intellectual activities. The Justice Department has indeed investigated several of these schools across the country and brought charges to some districts.

              If our nation’s (pre) K-12 institutions that have such a slanted record on school discipline, they must be even more vigilant in the face of intolerance we are seeing now at schools across the country. How can a student be suspended for a “menacing tone” to a teacher but not be suspended for threatening to deport their classmate? How can a student be given in-school suspension for violating a dress code but not for blocking a path for students to enter their school in hate-filled imitation of a wall? How can students be taken out of school in handcuffs for writing on a desk but not severely disciplined when they are found to be the ones who wrote hate-filled language on school grounds?

              President-elect Donald Trump is still receiving kid-glove treatment from the media. He is still has paid surrogates on our news networks spinning every question posed to them. We cannot treat students in our schools who are committing hate crimes or other violent and threatening acts to also be treated with kid gloves just because of the color of their skin or the socio-economic status of their parents. If this country is serious about healing, it starts at home but must spill over into our schools. Our youth need to know that we will move forward as a country with dignity and respect for our fellow man, woman, and especially the child. Too many black and brown students already feel ostracized from their educational enclaves because of the lack of culturally competent educators. They should not now be made to feel ostracized from their country simply by entering their school door. We can and need to do better.

 

Mandela…a poetic tribute

They say never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes

But what happens when the man has neither shoes nor socks to walk in?

Would you willfully walk that mile?

Would you accept all adversity with a frown and a smile?

Would you still run the race against racism with grace and style?

Would you work wearily to weave a tapestry of diversity and shared fate

Against those who continue to practice apart-hate?

            Mandela

Would your heart shine bright when deprived of sunlight?

            Mandela

Would your spirit sing a song of liberation when it’s denied instrumentation?

            Mandela

As they tried at Robben Island to rob you of your soul

You literally rolled Rholihlahla with each punch as you crunched in your hole

We stand here because of you

We breathe freely because of you

And you walked the long walk to freedom with no shoes and socks

So that we will not have to

            Mandela

You walked for those without homes and even the land-dwellers

            Mandela

You, the son of Mother Earth

Father to a nation

Grandfather to our future

Brother to African liberation

From Cape Town to Kinshasa you led like no other

To remind us to put our arms down and hands forward to embrace one another

            Mandela

Because of you the world is encouraged to up rise like Soweto

So-we-too rise above the mentality of the ghetto

To claim the universe as our humble home

Overseas maligned media would disgrace the Madiba

But we saw through their lies as we looked at tattered posters into your eyes

Your hope in humanity helps us fly Tran-skeis

And when peace did not work on the path for a free way

You chauffeured us on the highway of Umkhonto we sizwe

And when so many believed that there was still no way

Your perseverance and piety led all of us nobly to the Nobel in Norway

And so we will make peace our prize

And we will walk on this path of freedom with our shoes on and heads held high

In a world where courage and pride can be hard to find like a Black Pimpernel

Because YOU have walked this earth Madiba, the future for all humanity bodes well

Mandela!

Ask “Where do I go?” not “Where do WE go?” from here

          Everyone is asking where we go from here. I think the real question to ask is “Where do go from here?” By “I” I mean YOU. At the end of the day, all you can control is yourself and your reaction to all of the tragedies we witnessed this week. Asking where “we” go almost allows us to point fingers at what everyone else is not doing. Doing so means that you are not focusing on what you can do. As cliche as it sounds, it is indeed true that when you point in the mirror, there are three fingers pointing back at you.
          As Oprah said, what you think about expands. If you think about how you can add to the climate of positivity and not negativity, to the climate of peace and not division, than you are doing your part to move us forward. Your actions will speak louder than your words so make sure you give yourself the time needed to reflect on a way forward and then move forward expeditiously so that we can make this country as great for everyone as its promise. Peace always. Take care!

Alton Sterling & Philando Castile killings: I will no longer watch videos of police shootings

I will never forget the day the video of the killing of Laquan McDonald, the unarmed teen who was shot 16 times by one police officer while he lay on the ground, was released. The image of smoke discharge from the bullets that riddled his lifeless body as he lay on the concrete is as seared into my head as is the face of Emmett Till, the 14-year old boy who was lynched in 1955 for allegedly whistling at a white woman. His heavily disfigured face juxtaposed against his pre-lynching photos are still too much to bear, even though his murder occurred before I was even born. Despite the horrific nature of McDonald’s killing and the cover-up that was revealed in how he actually was murdered (read – executed), there was one other aspect of the killing that was almost as bad as the killing itself—the way in which the video of his murder became must-see-TV.

Throughout the day, every news outlet I watched almost boasted on how they would have the video primed and ready for the evening news. It was being billed as if it was a major sporting event, a speech by The President, or an impending visit by The Pope. For the life of me, I just could not figure out why a boy’s murder was turning into such a spectacle until I remembered the words of Jason Silverstein who wrote in his article “I don’t feel your pain” that there exists a “racial empathy gap” in America. In short, he says that when we (people of all races) see black people experiencing pain, we do not feel as much empathy as when we see white people experiencing pain. In fact, Silverstein goes as far as to say that we feel no pain when we see a black person harmed. His argument makes perfect sense.

Do you remember WDBJ reporter Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward? They were tragically shot to death while reporting live by a gunman whose name I will not share and add to his notoriety. The video of McDonald’s murder was released a month before Parker and Ward. While the world waited to watch McDonald get murdered, all media outlets found Parker and Ward’s murders “too graphic” to show or chose to not show the video out of respect to Parker and Ward’s family. Even on YouTube, you must be signed in and prove you are an adult to possibly see the full video. I completely agree and supported the decision to not show Parker and Ward get murdered but the question has to be asked: what makes the killing of a black man “must-see-TV” but the killing of anyone else too graphic?

From Latasha Harlins (25 years ago), Scott Walker and John Crawford to Eric Garner, Tamir Rice and now Alton Sterling, Philando Castile and everyone in between, we keep killings of black people on loop, almost as if they were public lynchings from earlier times. It is as if we cannot believe a black person can be killed unjustly. Furthermore, even after seeing these videos, many of us either stay in denial or come up with justifications as to why these Americans (yes, Americans) deserved to die. Meanwhile, many of us who know that we or our loved ones can easily be next repost the videos for everyone to see and then take to the streets in tear-filled anger and protest. I for one will no longer participate in this incessant song and dance routine.

I will not be watching the videos of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile being killed by the police. I have seen enough. Watching these videos do not move me to do anything productive. When I have watched these videos in the past, my emotions run from blood boiling to crying. I see myself in John Crawford’s face as his family hears him say over the phone “[the gun] is not real” as he bled to death. I see too many faces of people I know in the faces of Rice, Amadou Diallo, and others. Lastly, watching these videos impede my ability to be a fully participating husband and father because I become consumed with thinking when my turn is coming, even when I should be enjoying precious moments like birthday parties. Rather than participate in this endless cycle, I choose to remember the beautiful faces of these people smiling from the pictures showed by their families. I will look at Alton Sterling’s image and become more inspired to fight for justice without living under a cloud of rage and without harboring any thoughts of exacting revenge on the shooters or hoping someone else does. None of those thoughts help me work as an upstander to advance peace in our society.

So what will you do? Will you participate in the media-murder circus? Will you watch another murder and justify it somehow in your head? Will you change the channel for something more interesting after your bloodlust has been satisfied? Or will you be moved to do something different? Something better? Something more productive? My hope is that we will be just as proactive in fighting  for justice without having to indulge ourselves in a human being’s final moments. If for some reason you must watch the video, ask yourself what it does for you and be honest in your emotions and choose to be proactive and not reactive. That is the best way to honor those unjustly slain and actually show that we feel their pain. It is what these victims need. It is what they deserve.

Muhammad Ali – UPstander, not a bystander

          I am not saddened over the death of Muhammad Ali. Quite honestly, there is no reason a man who was declared a traitor by his country, who was sentenced to jail, and grew up during the time of segregation and Jim Crow should have lived beyond 25. Many leaders of his time such as Dr. King and Malcolm X never lived to see the age of 40. Ali not only lived but he endured. He not only survived but he thrived. He fought injustice to the very end and was the definition of an UPstander, not a bystander. I was floored by the deaths of Michael Jackson and Prince because they died young, tragically, and alone after doing so much for so many. They did not deserve that. Ali fortunately died surrounded by friends of family after close to a century on earth. We should all hope to be so fortunate when our number is called.
          Rather than be saddened, I am going to enjoy the fact that I lived during his time. The fact of the matter is that he is one of the few icons that literally defined the term “living legend.” He, along with Dr. King, Malcolm X, Medgar Evers, and so many others, are people I read about in the history books or saw in documentaries like “Eyes on the Prize.” He was never really real to me until I actually saw him in real life. I’ll never forget the day when I walked into the student center as an undergrad at Georgetown University and he was literally just standing there. He was swarmed by so many people that I did not feel I would be able to even get close to him and so I just stared at the man in distant admiration and kept walking because at that time in my life, I felt like one of the best way to honor celebrities was just to leave them alone and let them have a bit of normalcy. Just standing in his presence however, I could not help but feel his energy.
          There are going to be so many memorials and tributes to Muhammad Ali over the coming weeks. My hope is that as we remember him, we remember him as a man who transcended it all and brought people together. His daughter Maryum once said that they were approached by the son of klansman who said he was taught to hate black people but he just loved Ai so much. She said they all just cried in the restaurant. That is what our life is supposed to be about—teaching others that we are all equal under the sun and that there is no place for hate. That is what I will remember most about Ali along with the fact he spoke up whenever he saw an injustice, which is my goal as an UPstander. His presence will be missed but his spirit will live on in all of us forever and I am just glad that he was brought to this earth to inspire so many, including me. If you were truly inspired by him, re-commit to fighting for justice like never before no matter how small or large your sphere of influence. That’s how we can honor his presence and never forget him. Rest In Peace Mr. Ali. Rest In Power.

Show up in life!

I want to talk about the importance of showing up. Have you shown up for your life or have you lived in fear of showing up? It has been said that 50% of life is showing up. How many opportunities have you missed out on because of fear of showing up? Have you lost opportunities at love or a potential career or something else? 

At the end of the day, you showed up on earth and that means that you have something to do here. There is something that you need to accomplish. I encourage you to stop being scared and show up in your life and be fearless! As Ziglar said, fear is nothing but F.E.A.R.-False Evidence Appearing Real. Most of what you worry about will never happen so just show up, grow up, and GO UP! 

I’m Black, I rap, I’m Under 40, And I Don’t Use The Word “Nigga”

              I haven’t felt as embarrassed as an African American as I did when I heard comedian Larry Wilmore call President Barack Obama “my nigga” at The White House Correspondence Dinner. Don’t get me wrong. There have been many moments that I have considered low points for our culture but this was the lowest. The only thing that is more offensive to Wilmore’s ignorance is the response by people who have no problem with the use of the word because it’s just “Keepin’ it 100” or “Keepin’ it real.” Yes, Wilmore kept it real—real stupid. For anyone who says that this is just a natural term for us to use and that we’re used to it,” let me explain the three reasons why they’re wrong.

Nigga is not a term of endearment

Let’s really “keep it 100.” I am a rapper. I also have been “hip-hop” since birth so I am no newcomer to hip-hop culture. It’s the soundtrack of my life and so I will always love hip-hop. Anyone who listens to hip-hop knows full well that in our music, the term “nigga” is used more negatively than positively. Even Tupac who stated that “NIGGA” meant “Never Ignorant Getting’ Goals Accomplished” rarely used the term “nigga” in an endearing way. Sure there are verses where rappers talk about rollin’ with “my niggas” or bringing their “niggas” through the door once they became successful. In reality however, the overwhelming use of the term “nigga” is negative as in “niggas hatin’” on each other or “killin’ niggas” as well as their kids and other family members. Whenever I hear a term like “brother” being used in rap, it is indeed use positively as it should be. We cannot believe the terms “brother” and “nigga” to be synonymous and anyone who says “nigga” is used as a term of endearment particularly in our mainstream hip-hop music is just wrong. Don’t believe the hype.

Acceptance of the term nigga is not generational

A few years ago, rapper and mogul Jay Z appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and they had an honest debate about the word “nigga.” Jay Z made the argument that many users of the word use. He said that it’s generational and that the overuse of the word has taken the power out of the word. He also said that the intent behind the word is important, a point to which I agree. The fact of the matter however is that many black people younger than Jay Z do not use the term “nigga” and find it deplorable. I am younger than Jay Z and Nas and many rappers who rose to prominence in the 1990s and the 2000s. I work with youth across the country and run into students from kindergarten to college who deplore use of the word. It is also clear by Wilmore’s use of “nigga” that there are people of Oprah’s generation and older who are quite comfortable with the word. To accept, however, that people of my generation and younger have just accepted the term is flat out wrong. I am a Jay Z fan and even wrote my doctoral dissertation on Jay Z but on this point, I couldn’t disagree more with him.

White people still own the word “nigga”

There is always a debate about whether white people can use the word but we cannot reclaim a word we never owned. The argument is a waste of time. Not only can white people use the word, they still own the word. Some believe that Kendrick Lamar’s explanation of “nigga” coming from “negus” in ancient Africa. Please. I doubt Master John was thinking about ancient Africa while whipping his slaves. White people still use the word on a regular basis. I am a professor of cross cultural communication at American University. When I discussed hip-hop and the term “nigga” to my 70 plus majority white students (many wealthy) I asked them if they repeat the word “nigga” when singing their favorite rap songs. They all honestly raised their hands. I was not mad because they were just being honest but it revealed to me that an endless debate over use of the word is pointless because we live in a society where historical context doesn’t matter and all students on college campuses hear the word every day in music or from their black classmates.

At the end of the day, we as black people have lost the ability to make a case for the termination of “nigga.” I’ve heard some gay people refer to each other as “faggot.” I believe that there are Jewish people who may refer to each other as “kikes”, Latinos who refer to each other as “spics” and maybe even some Chinese people who use term “chink.” The difference with these groups is that they have not mainstreamed the most derogatory terms into global lexicon. Rapper Drake is half Jewish but you would never hear him utter the word “kike” in his music. Michael Jackson, probably the most not-racist person in history had his album pulled and was roundly condemned by his “friends” like Steven Spielberg because he used the word “kike” in his anti-racist song “They don’t care about us.” That should have made the message very clear to black people: degrade yourselves all day but as soon as you go beyond the plantation, expect to be whipped back into form.

As KRS-ONE so eloquently put it, “That mic you speak through/goes from here to Mogadishu/and how you represent us is the issue.” Across the globe, from Japan to Israel, we have made it acceptable to use the term “nigga” without providing any context because too many of us don’t know the context. I’ve been called “nigga” in Senegal and South Africa by people who thought they were being cool. I’ve watched Japanese sitcoms where they call each other “nigga.” At the same time the word becomes globalized, the #blacklivesmatter movement and the overall fight for black dignity has not. People want to dress in “our” clothes and play “our” music but take it all off when they go home. They want everything but the burden. All Larry Wilmore did was make the word acceptable for an entire new generation of black and non-black people to get comfortable with the word by referring the first black President in that way. There is nothing funny about that and as Joe Madison said, he tainted the legacy of the first black president and, as Reverend Al Sharpton said, it was at best tasteless. We can and need to do better.