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Why this Bostonian didn’t root for The Patriots in the Super Bowl

I am a proud Bostonian who will never forget the first time The New England Patriots won The Super Bowl in 2002. I remember the intense debates over whether then second string quarterback Tom Brady, who took over for the injured Drew Bledsoe, should start in the Super Bowl after Bledsoe returned from injury. #teambledsoe lost but I remember thinking “At least he got a ring out of the deal!” I remember my older brother Pata dropping to his knees yelling out “The Patriots won the SUPERBOWL!!!!!” in complete disbelief. I remember seeing one of The Patriots making snow angels on the field. I remember driving with my younger brother Simba in my first car, a forest green Mazda Protégé, all the way up Massachusetts Avenue and around Fenway Park as he hung out the sunroof high fiving everyone in sight. Being in Boston for that win was one of the best memories of the first quarter of my life.

Over the years, The Patriots would continue to assert their dominance at the same time the Red Sox, Celtics, and Bruins were starting to flex their muscle. As sports fans, we were on top of the world and the Pats ushered in the greatness of the new millennium. There was a bit less excitement after subsequent championships because I moved from Boston in 2003 and never fully engaged in many sports activities because I could just never recreate that buzz from the first win, though I always rooted for The Patriots. This year that all changed. Though I couldn’t bring myself to root against The Patriots, I just couldn’t root for them.

There were many reasons for me to not support The Patriots this year. I never cared about Deflategate because I just felt it was really impossible to prove so I don’t know if Tom Brady’s suspension was justified but between that and Spygate, I was a bit disappointed with the overall shadiness that was emanating from my beloved team. I was annoyed that Tom Brady decided to not attend the White House Super Bowl ceremony when President Obama was in office but I still couldn’t root against The Pats. Lastly, I did not lose support for The Patriots when I learned that Patriots owner Bob Kraft, Coach Bill Belichick, and Tom Brady were all supporters of an admitted racist in Donald Trump and that Bob Kraft is friends with Russian dictator Vladmir Putin, who holds one of Kraft’s championship rings. I still put my love of my home team before these other issues. But there is one issue that led me to lose my complete loyalty to The Patriots—Tom Brady’s inability to speak out on issues of violence against women.

Over the past three years, Tom Brady has had at least four opportunities to speak up on issue of violence against women and he demonstrated a level of cowardice that we would never see from him on the football field. First there was the 2014 Ray Rice incident, where then Baltimore Raven brutally assaulted his then fiancée (now wife) Janay Palmer. When asked about it, he said that commenting about this was above his paygrade. Then there is continued association with boxing champion Floyd “Money” Mayweather, whose history of domestic violence is legendary, yet Tom Brady still chose to attend the fight as Mayweather’s guest. He also replied “no comment” when asked about then Cowboys defensive end Greg Hardy and his history of domestic violence. Lastly, there was Tom Brady’s decision to leave a press conference when asked about then candidate Trump’s “Grab ‘em in the pussy” remarks, which Trump referred to as “locker room banter.” The fact that one of the most recognized athletes in America who has a wife as well as sons and a daughter could be silent on these issues is just unacceptable.

I respect an entertainer’s decision to remain apolitical but when you are pressed with questions regarding something as serious as domestic violence and sexual assault, you have to speak up. Lebron James, who has more global recognition than Brady, had no problems condemning Trump’s comments about women and I am certain that he would have expressed the same sentiment if President Obama made those comments. I keep find myself thinking that somewhere there is a man beating his wife up wearing a Tom Brady jersey, and though Brady wouldn’t be able to blame for it, he probably wouldn’t say anything about it. He has completely lost sight of his influence on others, highlighted by the comment made by one of my American University students who said that Tom Brady is so talented that he doesn’t have to speak up on issues of violence against women. This is the message that Tom Brady has communicated to his millions of followers directly and indirectly.

While it’s true that my distance from Boston has complicated my ability to fully support my teams like I used to, many more things have happened since that 2002 Super Bowl victory. I am married now and have 2 daughters and a son. Every single day my wife and I do our best to make sure they are learning about respect for themselves and respect for how the opposite sex should be treated. It’d be great to at the very least find a PSA from Brady stating that domestic violence is wrong, even if he doesn’t condemn his friends acts (though he should) but it seems that it would be an effort in futility. My kids range between the ages of 10 & 2 so they are not yet at the age where they will start looking for entertainer role models outside of the home whose values they will seek to emulate. They are more interested in people like Kathryn Johnson of Nasa fame and Rosa Parks for now, but as they get more interested in sports and entertainers, Tom Brady will not be on my list of potential role models beyond his commitment to his craft. I just need more from the modern day athlete.

At the end of the day, we can support our political candidates and have our liberal to conservative views on issues and we can support our friends on their endeavors, but we all must condemn violence against each other and condemn comments and actions that either endorse it or don’t condemn it. My hope is that Tom Brady will one day realize that taking a stance on violence against women would elevate him to a level of greatness that 5 more Super Bowl rings could never do. We don’t remember Muhammad Ali for his titles but because he was an upstander, not a bystander. While no modern-day athlete could ever fill his shoes because the challenges are not as severe as during his heyday, it shouldn’t be too much to expect all athletes, but especially the great ones, to speak up against violence against women, especially when he is part of a league with a deplorable track record on domestic violence. Until that happens, I just cannot support Tom Brady and The Patriots like I used to, though I still want to.

Beyoncé the latest example of women held to a higher standard than men

It has been more than a week since Super Bowl 50 and the world is still taking about Beyoncé’s performance, which was captivating at best, or a slap in the face to the family friendly event at worst. From The Jacksons to former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, the performance either made you proud, angry, or somewhere in between. As some prepare to boycott the NFL or Beyoncé in anger, it seems that there is one point that we are missing—Beyoncé was not the only performer on stage, but she was the only woman. The critique she is receiving is yet another double standard in the way women are treated harshly for their actions while men get a pass.

Starting with Beyoncé, I find it shameful that few people are mentioning the fact that Coldplay and Bruno Mars also performed. While many on social media jokingly thanked Coldplay for opening up for Beyoncé and Bruno Mars, the fact remains that it was Coldplay’s performance and they added Beyoncé. Since they clearly rehearsed for the performance, Chris Martin knew exactly what Beyoncé was going to do as it relates to her Black Panther attire. Should he not be protested as well? What about Bruno Mars? Was he not also dressed in the traditional black leather attire of the Black Panthers? I started to wonder how common situations like this occur and I instantly harkened back to Super Bowl 38. 

At the end of the halftime show of Super Bowl 38, superstar singer Justin Timberlake, ripped off part of Janet Jackson’s costume and exposed her right nipple. This event, commonly referred to as the “wardrobe malfunction” or “nipplegate” led to Janet Jackson’s music being blacklisted by Viacom, CBS, MTV, Infinity Broadcasting, and Clear Channel. Justin Timberlake received no such penalty. I then found myself asking—are the Beyoncé and Janet Jackson examples both sexist and racist? Miley Cyrus reminded us that it is not always about race.

In 2013, Miley Cyrus performed her hit song “We Can’t Stop” at the Video Music Awards. She invited R&B crooner Robin Thicke out to sing his new hit song “Blurred Lines.” During his song, Miley Cyrus bent over and “twerked” (grinding her behind against his groin region) while the crowd raucously applauded. Many on social media and in the press, however, did not applaud. Miley was roundly criticized for her raunchy performance and Robin Thicke got a pass, even though Cyrus claims that the move was Thicke’s idea, they did rehearse it, and he wanted her to look “as naked as possible” to reflect the women in his video. None of that mattered though. America sided with a then 36-year old married man who was somehow seduced by a teenage girl. America has a problem.

While the three events written about here represent mainstream pop culture, we can see every day how in 2016, men are still held to a lower standard than women. It is evidenced in Secretary Clinton being condemned for “yelling” though I’ve heard every male candidate in this election yell at some point with the exception of Dr. Ben Carson. It is evidenced in the continued praise heaped over the great American dance icon Fred Astaire while few struggle to remember the name of his partner Ginger Rogers, who did everything Astaire did but backwards and wearing heels, as President Obama noted. When will we wake up?

So as the protests against Beyoncé or the #beycott continue, Coldplay and Bruno Mars play on with no repercussions. We shame Beyoncé but do not shame an America for not knowing that the bay area where the NFL celebrated its 50th Super Bowl is the same place where the Black Panthers also started 50 years ago. We do not shame America for the sweeps of homeless populations living around the San Francisco 49ers stadium while those inside the Super Bowl ate hot dogs with gold flake toppings, celebrating American excess at its best. No. At the end of the day, we condemn the sole female performer who used her opportunity to shed light on a moment in American history that too many of us are either unwilling or incapable of studying and understanding and that is the real affront to American values.